/mu/ Classics
Classics A
The Velvet Underground - Loaded 2021-12-26
General rambling about popism combined with weed.
💣 Dud.
The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground 2021-12-26
Slower with hick sensibilities and a nine-minute half-assed experiment, none of which is emotionally stimulating in any direct or ambient sense.
💣 Dud.
The Velvet Underground - White Light/White Heat 2021-12-26
Like The Beatles meets garage rock, not as soulful as the latter yet mind-numbing like the former. At least until the overdriven organs come out. Oh, yes. Art. Pain.
💣 Dud.
Paul McCartney - Ram 2021-12-26
Ever since the Beatles ate shit and died, Paul has refused to walk his zombie corpse into the grave, and as a result his discography is littered with albums that are self-parodies, self-gentrified, and self-sucks. This is the autofellatio session, and though I admit it is ambitious, it still sounds like the soundtrack to a 2013 high school romantic comedy about an introverted sexually-confused teenager who spends too much time on social media and not enough time fucking, and who isn't like the other girls because they listen to the most popular musicians of all time, but from the 60s. God, even though a lot of the songs on here have a lot going on combined with a variety of sounds and vocal performances, I just don't give that much of a shit about Paul. And when he's wailing all over the place, how the hell am I supposed to hear what he's talking about? What even is he talking about? Does it matter?
💣 Dud.
The Doors - The Doors 2021-12-26
I hate modern (c)rap. Too many lyrics about sex and drugs. I only listen to Pink Floyd and Queen. Sorry, you didn't hear me the first time. I SAID I LISTEN TO PINK FLOYD AND QUEEN. PINK FLOYD. AND QUEEN.
✂️ Cut. Break On Through (To The Other Side).
Tom Waits - Rain Dogs 2021-12-26
Toontown music.
🤡 Clown.
The Rolling Stones - Exile on Main St. 2021-12-26
You may dig on the Rolling Stones, but they ain't come up with that style on they own. So it's obsolete rock music that was stolen from black Americans and is beloved by white boomers because it doesn't offer any meaningful lyrics, social commentary, or instrumental ideas beyond the basic concepts which have already been performed for about a decade at this point. It challenges nothing and exists to appeal to racists.
💣 Dud.
The Beatles - Revolver 2021-12-26
Really? This is what all those shitposts were about? I wouldn't expect a Bhutanese river dancing forum to relate so strongly to lyrics that are about the most basic of pop sensibilities. There's a woman. The dudes want to fuck the woman. It's always about a fucking woman. You know, I almost feel bad for clowning on Car Seat Headrest. Yeah, their music is shit and they can't sing and their instrumentals are trash and their production is ass and are probably incels, but at least it's gay. Anyway this album sucks and if you like it you are sad and I have no desire to speak to you. We all live in a society, in a yellow submarine. A yellow submarine. A yellow submarine.
💣 Dud.
The Beatles - Abbey Road 2021-12-26
Look, I just don't get it. I don't understand why out of every band that has ever existed, The Beatles has to be The Band to ever exist. They provide the bare minimum amount of imagination and song writing conceptualization to be considered good music, combined with the most milquetoast, whitebread themes which touch on the broadest appeals to middle-class human beings who've never had to suffer for much. They do not offer a genuine expression of the human experience and their attempts at inspiring joy, empathy, and come-togetherness are embarrassing. They make music for movies produced by greeting card companies and I pity people who consider this the greatest conception of the human auditory experience.
💣 Dud.
The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band 2021-12-26
See above but on drugs.
💣 Dud.
Love - Forever Changes 2021-12-26
God damn hippies.
✂️ Cut. Alone Again Or.
Leonard Cohen - Songs of Leonard Cohen 2021-12-26
A series of slow ballads speaking in metaphors to reveal little straightforward. Beyond the typical sad music with acoustic guitars and rumbling vocals, I would feel more empathy for the narratives if they were not so dense. I dislike interpretation because it's unfalsifiable. If I say a song means one thing and another person says another thing, who's right? Nobody. We're all idiots, and rarely the songwriter knows, as mystical as creation itself is. I guess you could use this album for your English class, or have a cry over songs you don't know the truth of. As boring as this statement is, it's possible to respect something without enjoying it yourself. For my purposes, this album is a curiosity. Nothing to listen to.
💣 Dud.
Classics B
The Kinks - The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society 2022-01-18
Vaguely-familiar yarns set to a weird amalgamation of genres, twee on release and gentrified over decades, now unremarkable.
💣 Dud.
Yes - Close to the Edge 2022-01-18
King Crimson with a synth, but this time funky. Any band with a full-time sitarist has an uphill battle. It's like reading the the songwriting credits and finding a dozen guys accused of sexual assault, or Rivers Cuomo.
💣 Dud.
Marvin Gaye - What's Going On 2022-01-18
In my quest for critical self-actualization I sent myself hurtling back in time, deep into the classics, and found it all so wanting. Everything classic sucks and you suck too. This one sucks less. What's fucked up about this album is that, it turns out, what's going on is the same shit that's been going on for the past fifty years since its release. This sound is timeless, the messages heartfelt, and fuck does it feel good to listen to a singer with stage presence. Nonetheless, Jesus dude, what's with all the preaching? Come together under God and the world is still shit. And why does every single song need a string backing? Now that orchestral strings are the universal shorthand for feeling sad, such orchestration is lazy. The soul is better without the cheap manipulation.
💯 Hundo. What's Going On, Save The Children, Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology).
Tim Buckley - Lorca 2022-01-18
This dude died at 28 and that's all you need to know.
🤡 Clown.
Tim Buckley - Starsailor 2022-01-18
"Loss", sometimes referred to as "Loss.jpg", is a strip published on June 2, 2008, by Tim Buckley for his gaming-related webcomic Ctrl+Alt+Del. Set during a storyline in which the main character Ethan and his fiancée Lilah are expecting their first child, the strip—presented as a four-panel comic with no dialogue—shows Ethan entering a hospital, where he sees Lilah weeping in a hospital bed: she has suffered a miscarriage.
🤡 Clown.
Tears for Fears - Songs from the Big Chair 2022-01-18
Silly, overblown new wave.
💣 Dud.
The United States of America - The United States Of America 2022-01-18
Some combination of experimental music and rock sensibilities leads to something very rarely clever but most of the time just dumb.
💣 Dud.
Pink Floyd - The Piper at the Gates of Dawn 2022-01-18
At least Death Grips got something out of it.
💣 Dud.
Pink Floyd - The Dark Side Of The Moon 2022-01-18
Did you know that if you play this album at the start of The Wizard of Oz, you'll still die alone and unloved?.
💣 Dud.
Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here 2022-01-18
SHINE ON YOU CRAZY DIAMOND. The rest sucks.
💣 Dud.
Wire - Pink Flag 2022-01-18
It's punk music alright, but it's pretty self-absorbed. Almost every song on this thing is under two minutes, and how are you supposed to enjoy a song so small without the mania which pop-punk innovated? And the vocals, despite being mixed well above the electric guitar abyss, are so damn chavvy, and the lyrics sung are so vague and repetitive as to be a joke. How many dead or alive? How many times have you asked this question? Answer: 33.
💣 Dud.
The Beach Boys - Surf's Up 2022-01-18
This album was a bitch to find. I owe it all to "Grandpa Bob's Cracker Barrel", whose YouTube channel description says: "Good Music". Let's not go that far, but at least The Beach Boys made something worth talking about. Yes, they're tackling environmentalism and the misery of human existence, instead of heterosexually wanting to bang women, which causes my own existence misery. The world is dying, your government hates you, and we have no empathy for life because none of it matters. The most telling song is where they reject the ideal relationships of their past releases and says such perfection was merely a delusion. And are they going punk on this bitch? You know what, Grandpa Bob? I'll give you your description. In a sea of piss and shit, this is a beautiful, chlorine-soaked white spot. Don't go near the water.
💯 Hundo. Long Promised World, Disney Girls, Feel Flows.
Classics C
Talking Heads - Fear of Music 2022-01-18
African rhythms which mixes the lyrics beneath them, all the better since they don't say much.
💣 Dud.
Joy Division - Unknown Pleasures 2022-01-18
I Wore This Hipster Tee Shirt And All I Got Was This Lousy Album.
💣 Dud.
Joy Division - Closer 2022-01-18
"Love Will Tear Us Apart" is an interesting little song in that it plays to Joy Division's strengths, which is being monotone and droll. Its deliberate lack of emotion when discussing the most emotional subject matter which music obsesses itself in capturing - love, and the tearing apart thereof - is an ironic twist on a stale theme. Its progression continually builds up to a non-climax which fades into the ether, satisfying nonetheless. It says little, inspires no arousal, and yet fascinates due to how well it captures the monotony of its subject. It's truly routine, love, and when it disappears, all you can do is make a one-note song which emblemizes it better than any stupid melodrama can. Also it's not on this album.
💣 Dud.
New Order - Power, Corruption & Lies 2022-01-18
I always thought new wave was kind of dumb. You take the sound of the future, with the bold new advances that synthesizers and recording technology bring, and you bitch about human relationships. This is like writing a science fiction novel about a plumber. Why would you concern yourself with something so mundane when you have eternity at your hands? It's emo music dressed up in electronic bleeps, and I'm grateful this fad has been buried in the 80s. On the plus side, it eventually evolved into the cultural clusterfuck that was synthwave, which genuinely was cool. Until the 2010s, when Netflix gentrified it. Then the 2020s when the Weeknd gentrified it again. Then it was shit.
💣 Dud.
The Gun Club - Fire of Love 2022-01-18
This album was so essential to the history of punk music that there's not even a YouTube topic upload. Instead the label threw up the audio on its channel like a teenager uploading Third Eye Blind. Yeah, this thing has guitars on it and loud singing. Like you give a shit.
💣 Dud.
Lou Reed - Transformer 2022-01-18
Vignettes about New York City and the people who inhabit it, including a song about trans women that isn't hateful. Nonetheless the dabbling in show tunes is gimmicky and New York isn't all that interesting.
✂️ Cut. Walk on the Wild Side.
Iggy Pop - Lust For Life 2022-01-18
The song about fucking a 16 year old is cool. The rest of the songs allude to a madness which is betrayed by its uninteresting hard rock progression.
💣 Dud.
The Stooges - Fun House 2022-01-18
Boring lyrics. Grating sound.
💣 Dud.
Swans - Filth 2022-01-18
Dark prog. Great if you like listening to the same song nine times in a row. It's angry so that means it's good. Also primal, and stuff. Tyler the Creator had scarier bars. And we don't fucking make horrorcore, you fucking idiots.
💣 Dud.
Swans - Children of God 2022-01-18
Playstation 1 RPG music.
💣 Dud.
Dinosaur Jr. - You're Living All Over Me 2022-01-18
A weird bit of proto-grunge that isn't miserable but still mindless.
💣 Dud.
Einsturzende Neubauten - Halber Mensch 2022-01-18
I love German. It's such a subtle language of nuance and intrigue.
🚫 Refused.